To Celebrate ‘Caitlyn Jenner’ MLB Signs Amphibious Pitcher
It’s a first for Major League Baseball. The first amphibian has been signed by the Oakland Athletics. The headline of the article reporting on his pitching marvel who opened against the Boston Red Sox reads “Amphibious pitcher makes debut.”
I thought, given today’s politically correct climate, if an amphibian wants to pitch in the Major Leagues, it ought to have that right. Maybe it believes it’s really Sandy Koufax reincarnated.
It doesn’t matter. You can be whatever you want to be even if it’s impossible, and don’t let anybody tell you your pet toad is not American Pharaoh.
Neither sexual switcheroo homo sapiens nor amphibians should be denied the right to play the all-American sport of baseball. Who are we to judge and deny a person of any sex or changed sex or amphibian the courage to live what they believe they are?
To be fair, the person who set the headline got it wrong. As one person wrote: “Stay in school. Don’t do drugs. Choose your college wisely.”
The author of the article, Howard Ulman, got it right. Pat Vinditte is not an amphibian. He’s ambidextrous. He can throw equally well left handed as he does right handed . . . a rarely learned skill. He’s had a special glove made for his special skill (see below).
Maybe one day a real amphibian will pitch or at least be given the opportunity to pitch in the Major Leagues. It’s like Bruce Jenner being given ESPN’s “Courage Award” for deciding today that he wants to be a woman. Well, I want to be Joe DiMaggio, and there may be a salamander somewhere who aspires to be a big league ball player.
Here’s something from ESPN reporter Roxanne Jones on why Bruce Jenner deserves the Courage Award:
“When I saw the Vanity Fair magazine cover of Caitlyn Jenner, my first reaction was: Yes, love it. Good for you Caitlyn, claim who you are and live it. For me, it is so empowering that Caitlyn had the courage to tell her story. That she has finally found the inner strength that [transgender] Jasmina Andino and so many like her [sic] have had all along, no matter what the costs.”
She might just as well have been describing an amphibian that wants to pitch in the Major Leagues.